it will set you free

i want to be set free. i don't want to want your love or anyones love...i want to love myself enough to not need anyone elses support or reassurance. i want to get lost in a cloud of smoke and to forget the pain..i want to get lost in my thoughts, and when i mean lost i mean i dont want to be near my thoughts because they are absoutely damaging to me. i want to be the object of desire to everything and everyone. i want to be perfect in everyone elses eyes, because then i will be perfect in mine. i want to walk into a room and be the most confident person there. i want to be remebered, to be noticed. i want people to look at me and say, "who's that girl?". i want to be the badass bitch that everyone loves. even if its an act, i want everyone to love me.................why cant that be true now......whats wrong with me