pressure

i feel pressure
so much pressure
i can even feel it in my body
i thought coming here that i would be in my element and grades wouldnt matter as much and the weak areas would go away and i would strive
this is all shit. grades matter so much here and its suffocating
i feel stupid as hell. i feel like i shouldnt be here. i feel like im setting myself up for destruction. i just want to be left alone. what do i even love anymore? i just want to be held and told its all going to be okay because i dont feel like its going to be okay at all
and im tired of people judging me and acting superior over me, it's ugly and cocky as hell and i hate you for it